Even though most of us try not to, we’re all guilty of comparing ourselves to others. This is often unconscious, but it’s essential to try to train ourselves to stop. While it may motivate us to better ourselves, constantly comparing ourselves can stifle our creativity and motivation.
Listen to the Next Level Social podcast for my tips and tricks on Using Comparison to Better Your Business
There is a lot of celebrating results in my space as a coach. I am all about cheering other people on, but the constant sharing of finances and relationships can sometimes get the best of me. My hands are up; I am guilty. But I’m not going to lie; if my mentor weren’t sharing her lifestyle, marriage, and life – all the beautiful things she has worked hard for, I wouldn’t have hired her. She shared the life I wanted and the metrics I needed to know were possible. Sharing showcases the why, the dream, and the destination we are working toward.
Despite the benefits, comparison can negatively affect our lives and businesses, so avoiding the comparison spiral is essential.
I want to stop comparing myself to others: What do I do?
One thing that brings me back down to reality is gratitude. When I feel like I’m circling the comparison drain, I breathe and say, “what are five things I am grateful for in this moment?”
Gratitude doesn’t have to be complicated. For example, you are reading this blog on a phone, computer, in a house or car, and right there, you are more privileged than most people who have EVER lived.
2. Use comparison
The next piece that helps me is knowing comparison is normal. Instead of fighting your emotions, use them to create a pathway to where you want to go. Allow the jolt of longing to paint the vision of your Why and move you forward. I take a step back and think, “if that person has paved the way, I can jog down the same street and get there too.”
3. Be aware of your triggers and avoid them
Sometimes it takes identifying accounts that routinely evoke feelings of inadequacy. It’s important to be mindful of how consumption affects us, and if you follow someone that genially makes you feel bad about yourself, mute and unsubscribe. Nobody got time for that.
How to defeat comparisons
When you know what makes you different and what’s ultimately creating the boss you are, you can stay in your lane. You can keep moving forward when you focus on what lights you up and have a clear vision of your Why.
“[S]he who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
I always think about J-Lo. She has been my ride-or-die for years because she never stops. J-Lo was told she couldn’t be both a singer and actress and that she wasn’t great at either. In response, J-Lo said during the launch of her beauty company,
“The truth is nobody knows what’s inside you. Only YOU know what’s inside of YOU. Only you know what you’re capable of, your dreams, your desires, your wants and your ability.”
I’ve understood J-Lo’s message: the more you act and prove what’s inside yourself, the more success and opportunities will come your way.
The bottom line
Focus on your why and uniqueness, and your story will write itself. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself, and your efforts should be on growth for yourself and your business! Be kinder, more resilient, more open, work harder, and success will follow.
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