There are moments in life that change you forever.

Moments that don’t just shift your plans — they shift your identity, your priorities, and the way you see the future.

This past month, Lucas and I experienced one of those moments.

And today, I want to share the deeper story behind our recent trip to Tulum — not as a highlight reel vacation recap, but as a sacred turning point in our lives, our relationship, and our vision for what comes next.

Why Tulum Wasn’t “Just a Vacation”

If you follow me on social media, you probably saw pieces of our trip to Tulum — the ocean views, the barefoot beach walks, the soft boho luxury, the sunsets, the stillness.

But what you didn’t see was the deeper intention behind why we went.

In December, Lucas and I lost our baby at just over 10 weeks pregnant.

I was getting close to ending my third trimester and didn’t quite make it through.

It was one of the most heartbreakingly painful experiences I’ve ever gone through — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

There are no words for the kind of grief that hits when a future you were just beginning to imagine is taken from you overnight.

And there’s another layer to this that I haven’t really talked about publicly until now.

In full transparency… it took me over a month to actually accept the pregnancy and be excited about it.

Because there were still loose ties in both mine and Lucas’s personal lives.

We both come from divorces. There are kids involved. Exes involved. Families involved.

And I was consumed with questions like:

• What will our families think?
• How will Lucas’s kids feel?
• How will our exes take it?
• What will people say?

I carried a lot of shame, fear, and guilt around that.

I was so worried about everyone else that it took away from something I had dreamed of my entire life.

And then when it was suddenly taken from me overnight… I was devastated in a way I don’t have words for.

There was grief.
There was shock.
There was physical pain.
There was emotional numbness.
There was anger.
There was deep sadness.

And on top of all of that… there was guilt.

Guilt for not being excited right away.
Guilt for not protecting that moment more.
Guilt for taking it for granted.

So when we booked Tulum, it wasn’t “just a vacation.”

It was dedicated to our little angel.

It was our space to mourn together.
To cry together.
To be quiet together.
To talk about what happened.
To process what we were feeling.

And to intentionally decide how we want to move forward.

The Energy of Tulum: Space, Stillness, and Nervous System Healing

We stayed at Amansala right on the beach — this earthy, boho, barefoot-luxury sanctuary that instantly slows your nervous system down the moment you walk in.

Our days were intentionally simple:

• Sunrise walks on the beach
• Cold plunges and sauna sessions
• Long breakfasts with fresh fruit and coconut coffee
• Journaling and reflection
• Deep conversations
• Sunset swims
• Quiet evenings

No rushing.
No overstimulation.
No constant doing.

Just being.

And in that stillness, everything we had been holding in finally had room to surface.

We cried.
We talked.
We held each other.
We processed.
We reflected.

And slowly, we began to feel something shift.

Not in a “we’re healed now” way.

But in a grounded, anchored, forward way.

🎙️✨Listen to the Full Episode:

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